Tough Times, Being Self-Employed & Drinking Less

It seems that two weeks go by so quickly between blogs.  During the two weeks I always come across something to stir my Drink Less Mind thoughts, whether professionally or personally.

I had a client who came to see me last week who, like many I treat, is a self-employed person.  This client had got himself into a bit of a rut with his drinking.  This came about from the doom and gloom of the recession which was challenging him financially in his professional life, as well as emotionally.

I always say there is a balance between not enough time and having too much time on your hands and for this client too much time meant negative thoughts and feelings were becoming too present in his life.  The way he dealt with this was to go out and drink alcohol.

 

Tough Times, Being Self-Employed & Drinking Less

This client started to want to go to lunch more than drive his business.  He had created an escape mechanism of going to the pub to alleviate the stresses and strains of his life and unfortunately it was becoming a concern, not just for him but his business partner too.

This is where it becomes tricky; as this client was learning the habit of procrastination and justification for his heavy daytime drinking.  He also had to deal with the negative inner conversations he was having with himself such as ‘I am a loser because I am not generating enough money.  I am a failure etc.’  This highly critical inner conversation was driving him to the lunchtime drinking more and more.

As I explained to my client being self-employed does have great benefits, however sometimes the benefits become the problem such as drinking too much on those quiet days as a way of dealing with the challenges of business life.

My client was in a difficult position.  On one hand he felt good to be out with friends as a way to be busy but on the other hand the heavy drinking was causing a lot of anxiety and depression.

It’s easy for some to just say ‘Why doesn’t he just cut out the lunchtime drinking and sort his life out?’ However this is not always as easy as it seems.

The first thing we needed to do was to train his mind to separate from the true real aspects of his work life that weren’t getting any better and the parts of the business that could be salvaged and worked on with a clear mind.  This is where my work sometimes becomes more of a Life Coach approach along with hypnosis.

My client needed to acknowledge the reason why he was self-employed, was because he did have a successful business mind.  We needed to prove the evidence to him of success, such as the lovely house he has, the supportive wife and the two beautiful children he has and the list went on.   I reminded him, before the recession life was good, and that it will be good again, however in the meantime he needed to build coping mechanisms that kept his busy in a positive way.

We worked on his creative side that resolves problems.  We practiced in hypnosis what it feels like to have quiet times and go into an intuitive space where he could see the situation getting better.  These simple tools gave him the impetus to think outside the box.  This meant that he could see there was more than the option of going to the pub.   He started to learn to separate from self-doubt so he could see the bits of the business to salvage and the bits to let go of.

The logic kicked after listening to the recordings that I made him and over a few weeks he could feel the motivation and enthusiasm come back.

This time he went to the pub to celebrate his clear head and self-confidence and as I said to him this sort of drinking is fine because he was in the right place emotionally and this is what makes the difference.

If you feel or you know of someone who is drowning their recession blues remember it is a habit of thought and that you have the ability to change and drink less alcohol.  I am not suggesting that life is going to instantly improve but I can guarantee an increase in healthy, logical thinking that supports success not a sense of failure, will become more prevalent.

Best Wishes

Georgia

Top Tips To Cut Back On Alcohol In The Evening

My exciting situation at the moment got me thinking about parents and people that come back from work and have a drink or two. This is fine, but sometimes you may feel you want to cut back on alcohol in the evening and this blog is designed to help you think about that.

 

I am if you didn’t know a well-practised Aussie drinker who lives in London and after having triplet boys 12 weeks ago, I am actually just starting to enjoy a little glass of wine again.  Celebrating my birthday last weekend proved to be a little more wine related than it has been!

I enjoy nothing better than a glass of Sancerre when my partner gets home from work around 7pm and the nights we have a night nanny are the nights I can relax and have some more if I feel like it.

Even my mother-in-law who doesn’t normally drink has been having a glass with me, so I guess that says a lot about looking after triplet baby boys all day!

 

Tips To Drink Less Alcohol

When It Becomes Time To Cut Back On Alcohol In The Evening

I know a lot of you are ‘stay at home mums’ or even people who go out to work but talk about ‘The Wine O’Clock’ time that kicks in once the kids have gone to bed.  I do understand this and in fact I get it now big time being a new mother myself.  It is always the same theme for me, as for other mothers too, where it is a way to spend adult time where I feel I can be less responsible and more of an individual person rather than a mother.

To anybody who resonates with this blog, you will know that there are times when having wine after the kids have gone to bed seems like the only way to find some sort of reprieve.

Issues Caused By Too Much Alcohol In The Evening

And I can assure you there is nothing wrong with it in principal, however if it starts to creep up too much in quantity there are a number of issues that can become apparent such as:

  • Alcohol related tiredness.  This is caused by fitful sleeping, toxins, REM sleep pattern not being there as long.
  • Anxiety, due to the toxins leaving the body as well as the exhaustion.
  • Feeling angry, this is due to tiredness, as well as the frustration of being angry at yourself for drinking too much and not feeling in control of the drinking.
  • Guilty mother syndrome.  The guilt of wanting to drink to run away from being the responsible mother.

For those of you who are aware that this sort of drinking is causing you concern, I can assure you after being in this ‘drink less’ business for 19 years the issues are common and normal but can be unhelpful to your health and emotional wellbeing.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to run away from life by drinking too much now and again but if it becomes your daily stress management tool, following are some tips to help alleviate the drive to drink when you know you don’t want to and so therefore, help you cut back on alcohol.

Top Tips To Cut Back On Alcohol

As much as it can be challenging, think about doing something different in the evenings once the kids have gone to bed.  For example:

  • If you decide to do computer work such as surfing the net or facebooking and you enjoy a glass or two with this experience, put the glass of alcohol on the other side of the keyboard or in other words, use your non-dominant hand to drink from and the other have a glass of water handy.
  • If you are watching TV, make a conscious effort to put the glass of alcohol down between sips or even better keep putting your glass in another room so you have to keep getting up to drink it.
  • If you decide to not drink at all, prepare yourself in advance by keeping yourself busy, such as reading a book or watching that movie you planned to watch ages ago.
  • Generally people will have a threshold of when it is too late to have a drink, whether it is just after a meal or some say any time after 9pm or 10pm when it feels too late.  Stretch this time out by just doing something different.

The more you do this the more your mind will assume this new behaviour to be true.

I have found just subtle changes in your drinking approach will help you cut back on alcohol.

Keep practising!

Speak soon.

Georgia

Young People, Self Esteem Issues & Links To Alcohol

Over the years I have had the privilege of helping teenagers with self esteem issues.

 

I always say and will say again here in this blog that self esteem is something we need to learn.  We are not born with it.  Irritatingly it doesn’t seem to be taught in schools either.

 

Young people are particularly shocked when I tell them this, as they assume everyone else is more attractive, more clever and interesting than they are.

I feel very passionate about helping the younger generation basically to help them avoid some of the pitfalls of life.  Obviously there are many situations in life that are unfortunately necessary for the young to go through, however there are many situations that can be avoided or managed much better.

Teaching young people to have true self confidence can help them deal with bullying, sexual harassment, gender issues, social anxieties as well as being assertive and having a voice when necessary.

 

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It makes me sad when I hear of young people with lots of hopes and dreams who feel the need to drink alcohol to excess and take drugs to fit in.  One of my 19 year old clients told me last month that it was expected amongst her peers to take cocaine and drink alcohol to the point of oblivion.  Both these actions she wasn’t happy to do but felt obliged to say yes to stay with the ‘in crowd’.

My heart sank when she also told me what was expected of her sexually too.  Such a lovely girl and already feeling unsure of herself to the point that she has to say yes when she wants to say no.

And all of this type of coercing between her so called friends was with the influence of alcohol and drugs.

My lovely young client is a beautiful and talented girl who deserves to like herself and embrace the true wondrous being she is.  That is what is great about my work – I help people feel the sensations of calm and confidence while still remaining humble and intuitive.

My thoughts now being a new mother myself as to how to raise my triplet boys so they have confidence and courage to stand up for themselves is there daily.  So seeing young clients even more so now fills my heart with a drive to help this age bracket more.

As you know I don’t profess to be teetotal in fact not at all and I always say having a hangover now and again is completely acceptable as far as I am concerned.  However some of my young clients who are 16 are drinking a hell of a lot of alcohol and this is a worry.

A doctor once told me that when a child starts drinking excessive alcohol in their teenage years the brain hasn’t fully developed at this stage.  In other words the brain cannot deal with too much alcohol and addictions can start to appear.  The main culprit of this is not feeling good enough and alcohol can give that instant fix (as it does with adults too) to feel better.

I know in Europe children are given small amounts of wine with their meal to learn how to drink in a paced way which I think is the logical way of educating the young to drink alcohol.

I know for a fact that children who are told alcohol is bad and evil tend to want to drink it as a form of rebellion and fascination, which can end up in disaster for the child and the family.

I am not suggesting I have the answers but I can clearly see how alcohol dependency can occur.  It just takes a few self esteem issues as a teenager and a little bit of alcohol mixed in there to gain pseudo confidence and then an emotional habit occurs.

On a lighter note, I am cooking a red Thai curry tonight for Ian and myself.  I am getting myself prepared for the night feeds for my 3 month old boys, so no wine for me!

Enjoy your day and I look forward to writing another blog soon x

How To Spot The Signs A Person Has A Drinking Problem

When a person has a drinking problem it is important to get them help as soon as possible, but how do you spot the signs? It’s obvious to see when a person is visibly drunk after a good night out and a celebration, but spotting when a person has a problem with alcohol can be more difficult.

 

It is important before approaching someone about a drinking problem that you are certain they do have a problem.

How to spot the signs of a drink problem

Signs That A Loved May Have A Drinking Problem

 

  1. Getting drunk all the time
  2. Likes to drink alone
  3. Hiding alcohol in odd places
  4. They turn to drink when they have a problem
  5. Start to get irritated when they have not had a drink
  6. Lose interest in normal activities
  7. Have blackouts due to heavy drinking
  8. They lie about how much they drink
  9. Have relationship problems due to drinking too much

 

It may surprise you that the majority of people with a drinking problem are not alcoholics

 

When people think of someone with a drinking problem they automatically think that person is an alcoholic. However, it may surprise you that the majority of people with a drinking problem are not alcoholics.

 

How to approach someone who has a drinking problem?

 

Approaching a person who has a drinking problem can be very difficult. It is important to put yourself in their position and think how you would like someone to come to you and talk about your drinking problem if you had one.

 

You have to be very tactful, and not approach them in a negative way. It is important to understand what they are going through and show them you are there to listen and to help.

 

What you should not say to someone with a drinking problem

 

You are always drunk

You’re a drunk

Do you know how hard it is for me seeing you with a drinking problem?

Think about the children

If you loved me and loved our children, you would stop drinking

 

 

What do you say to someone who has a drinking problem?

 

It is important when talking to someone who has a drinking problem to use positive language. You have to put yourself in their position.

 

Have you noticed how much more you are drinking recently?

Did you know when you have a drink your behavior changes?

I have found this great website that helps people to drink less, shall we do it together, so we become healthy?

If we both drink less, we will not only become healthier, but we can save money and spend it on a holiday

 

It is important to be positive when talking to someone who may have a drinking problem; you have to be on their side. One of the hardest things for a person to admit to is that they have a problem with alcohol.

 

My Seven Days To Drink Less Alcohol is a great way for you or a loved one to reduce your alcohol intake. The How To Stop Drinking Alcohol so much programme runs over seven days and the first day is available to try for free. Have a look here and learn how you or a loved one could reduce the amount of alcohol they drink and become healthy.

 

 

 

5 things most people get wrong about drinking alcohol

wine-glass

  1. Drinking without eating to save on calories actually makes your hangover worse and then to make you feel better many people consume lots of carbohydrates. Best to eat while drinking, so the alcohol can be absorbed into food, so you don’t’ binge the next day.

 

  1. Many people assume that drinking makes them more confident, sexy, witty and clever. This is a fallacy. Alcohol shuts down the critical and judgmental part of the brain, which why some socially shy and anxious people like to drink a lot. Self esteem is key to building confidence, so that you don’t need to drink to feel better.

 

  1. The Standard Glass measurement is not based on any medical fact. It is based on statistics from doctors who realized that people tend to under-calculate by 3 times how much they consume. The truth is people if they pace their drinking with 1 glass an hour over a 2-4 hour period while hydrating with water and eating food a few times a week will generally be healthy.

 

  1. A lot of people who are worried about their drinking do not belong in Alcoholics Anonymous. They are emotional drinkers and use alcohol as a way to escape from the world. Once the emotional driver is understood, then with the right sort of stress management tool they can reduce.

 

  1. Some people assume that drinking the next day helps the hangover. This is untrue. It can lead into an unhelpful cycle of drinking everyday. A hangover is a sign that your body is toxic and needs some recovery time.

 

The 5 tell tale signs that your drinking has become a problem

 

  1. You feel anxious and fearful about reducing your alcohol consumption
  2. Hangovers are becoming an every day occurrence
  3. Family and friends are commenting about your excessive drinking
  4. You sneaky drink or drink in secret
  5. Excessive drinking is starting to cause problems in your personal and professional life

 

 

      Try the first day of the 7 days To Drink Less program now, so you can start to enjoy what you drink guilt free.

10 mantras for a happy, healthy binge-free summer

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Your mind is an amazing tool. Irrespective of your past the neuroscientists confirm that you can change your unhelpful thinking habits to be more positive. The key is to utilize the emotional part of the brain. The best way to do this is to lie somewhere comfortable, put on some relaxing music, close your eyes and imagine yourself achieving what you want to achieve, while saying the following mantras or ones that resonate with you. Any negative thoughts breathe it out and then breathe in one of these mantras. Practice this for 5 minutes a day and over a few weeks, your mind will learn that this is normal thinking and will enact on it more easily and comfortably.

• It is safe for me to create a more positive future than my past
• My mind does know how to be happy and I am practicing it right now
• I am learning to think before I eat and drink so can respond from a place of calm
• I am enjoying drink less alcohol naturally and easily
• I am naturally making healthier choices as the days and nights are going by
• I am feeling more confident as the days and nights are going by
• I realize I don’t have to be perfect to be happy
• I am enjoying listening to my intuition more each day than ever before
• I am open to new opportunities that will enhance my life
• I am attracting emotional kind and loving people
• My thoughts are becoming more supportive no matter what happens
• I am enjoying becoming more assertive to have my needs met
• I accept that life does not always work out the way I want it to, but that just means something better is coming along

www.georgiafoster.com